Every scar tells a story
We all have scars. Every scar tells a story. When I look at the scars on my body, I am reminded of times I endured pain. The scar is the silent proof of that pain. It reminds us that growth and wisdom can come from discomfort and suffering. Scars also indicate healing has occurred. I often notice scarring on tree trunks and plant stems, too. They can tell us how healing came after some sort of assault on the surface. Meandering along the trail of scars on our bodies reveals stories from our past and moments of trauma, courage, and overcoming.
I recently started a painting on a very large canvas (48 inches x 60 inches). As usual, I didn’t really have a plan for the painting. Over time, as I moved onto other pieces, it even became a slop board for a while! (A slop board is a canvas I use to put leftover paint on. I don’t like to waste any paint, so I will “slop” it onto a nearby canvas. Often, these slop boards become beautiful abstract pieces!). One day, I decided I really needed to paint “emotionally.” I was having some feelings around losing my dad and needed to process through putting paint on canvas. In the process of painting, I accidently tore the canvas with one of my brushes.
Ugh! I cannot believe that just happened! I guess I’ll have to trash this canvas and start over…
As I put the canvas to the side, I forgot about it for awhile. One day, I walked by it and studied the tear. So unfortunate…so much energy and intention was put onto this canvas…such a shame to just discard it. Why am I considering this? The canvas is damaged. Who would want it? Hmmm, this all sounded familiar. Who wants what the world wants to discard because it is imperfect or damaged?
But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise,
and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty…
I Corinthians 1:27
As you can see in the above image, I decided to “mend” the tear in the canvas. I believed that there was a story to tell. The imperfection of the canvas made it more special to me. The tear was the result of powerful emotions. My frustration and sadness caused an injury to the surface of the painting. The same hands that caused the tear will now mend it. I decided to use red yarn to “stitch” up the laceration.
I know there is a story here. Be patient. Wait for it to emerge…
She arrived with a force. Once I saw it, I could not unsee it. A beautiful face that reflected the heaviness of grief, the imperfections of life, and the chaos of a broken heart in the background. It was as if she was emerging from the chaos, willing herself to surface…to take up her space. Her beauty is accentuated by the scar on her face. It is prominent. It is exquisite.
This piece has been an ardent exploration for me. I had to trust my intuition at every stage of the process. Even when I almost made the wrong decision, my gut lead me into patience and to allow space for something special to emerge. I could not have imagined where the journey with this painting would take me. From the first brushstrokes of uncertainty, to being used as a slop board, to re-emerging as a place for me to process some overwhelming emotions, to suffering damage to its surface by my hands, to nearly being thrown away, to THIS…I am astonished by the emotional power and message it conveys.
I am proud of this piece. It holds so many lessons for me. The more I paint, my confidence in my intuitive style becomes stronger. I am grateful for this gift…a place for me to be authentically myself. I can approach the canvas with any emotion that I am experiencing in that moment. It never judges me. It welcomes my brushstrokes and marks without comment. The paint offers a tactile remedy for painful feelings or a catalyst for pleasant ones.
She journeyed to emerge, and she is beautiful.
